just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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