I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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