Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
