so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
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i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
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The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
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