I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
