I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
this just has baby written all over it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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