I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
