You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
