i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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