he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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