Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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