yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
