Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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