hotel room ftw
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
