I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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