Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
