I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
