I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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