my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
