Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
