And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
