I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
