good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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