just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
