If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
MIDGETS
????
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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