During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize