I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
