Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
