Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My feet surprised me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
