does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
