Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize