Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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