she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
