All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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