You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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