The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
