marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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