sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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