it's too hot outside to masturbate.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
