ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
