I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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