it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
