Umm I'm too high to move.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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