I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You dont lie about slip and slides
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize