Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I can't turn off my feet"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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