I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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