he puts the penis in happiness.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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