Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
