Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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