dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize