And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
