I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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