I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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