Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
