Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
