Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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