One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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