Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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