Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
