just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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