We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
