When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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