I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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